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About Baby's Separation Anxiety
from: Adwina JacksonHow do I feel about my child's separation anxiety? Honestly,
it's absolutely one of the most delightful feelings I really
enjoy as a mom.
I remember when my son was between 8-9 months old. Just like
every mother, I couldn't forget those moments.
At that time, he often asked for more attention from me rather
than from anybody in the house. No matter where he was or who
was holding him, as soon as he saw me, he suddenly cried as if
he was asking me to hold him.
When I came close to him, he abruptly opened his arms and looked
so happy. His cry stopped in a moment. It was truly an unspoken
feeling I had experienced.
But there was also time when he acted differently from what I
had expected. When I went for work, I thought he would cry hard
to see me leaving him. I hugged him tight and kissed his face
again and again.
I told him, "Baby, Mommy have to go to work now. Eat and drink a
lot, okay? And have a good nap. I'll be back. Love you much.
Bubye."
Sometimes he kept looking at me when I said so. I expected him
to start weeping. But it didn't happen. I wondered why. I found
out later that he was interested with the wheels of the car I
traveled in everyday.
Whenever the car started to run, my son always kept his eyes on
the wheels. Looking at them spinning must have been very
exciting to him. I just smiled, though my heart broke a little.
I soothed myself by thinking that it was good for him being
curious of strange things.
My son is a baby who has sleeping problem. Throughout the night
during his sleep, he often woke up several times. If he woke up
and didn't find me nearby, he would cry out loud, making the
whole house panic as if something really bad happen.
When I got into the bedroom, he would crawl toward me, and then
I hugged him. He'd be calm afterward. Breastfeeding really
worked to put him back to sleep.
Thank God I decided to breastfeed him so that I wouldn't be
engaged with the rush of preparing formula during the night.
Yes, I chose to breastfeed him in nighttimes, even though he
still got formula in day times.
Maybe this breastfeeding activity had created the bond between
us. I enjoyed it, and still until now. This might also what made
my son didn't want to stay away from me.
If your baby or child has the same characteristic as my son has,
I'm sure you have the same feeling as I do. If you think that
your baby's cry (for being away from you) annoy you, just
remember that it won't last forever.
Separation anxiety is a phase in your child's development during
his early years of life. Almost all children go through this
experience. What I can suggest you is just enjoy these intimate
moments before they're gone along with your child's growth.
From what I've heard from my friends about this, you're gonna
miss the moments. To me, even now, I really don't want the phase
fade away.
Wait, wait. There's one more thing I'd like to share with you,
which you may not think will make your child comfortable. I
remember my friend told me that if you're going somewhere, don't
forget to tell your child that you'll be back. Instead of
sneaking out of the house, waving your hand and saying that
you'll be back will soothe him somehow.
About the author:
Adwina Jackson is a wife and mother of a young boy. She's also
the editor of Inspiring Parenting, an online source of valuable
parenting information. Please visit
for helpful and free parenting info.
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